We all just poured out a sip of our drinks for you. One for our pussy whipped homie.
your transformation into a slut upon entering college is like a shakespearian tragedy
Please don't tell anyone I peed on your wall.
you went around and groping mens pants to see "which was worthy" of you to go home with.
i came home at 4 a.m. and made a dozen eggs and three lbs. of bacon. my mom woke up and the only thing she was pissed about was that i used the whole carton of eggs, but then she sat down and ate with me
I just remember her telling me "Hi, my names Kaissa and I'm a lesbian" over and over and over and over again as I was crying.
When we started taking double shots of vodka and chasing it with a lick of fruit roll-ups, I knew there'd be hell to pay in the morning.
New high score, I made the stripper choke me while I was getting a lap dance last night
Do you think you're physically and mentally capable of killing me? Because I'd really appreciate it.
Don't worry, I'm preparing for tonight by lining my purse with a garbage bag.
Whiskey dick has taught us to be smart with our time.
I'm the man of the house if we're referring to livers.
Apparently at some point last night someone gave me tequila. There was a few shots left when I woke up so that was breakfast. This is a good birthday
I have meat and whiskey. will you bring condoms?
I should not be allowed to reproduce. The world doesn't need my sarcastic asshole demon spawn in child form
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