my number is 615-555-1212, <3 your favorite asshole
I have said "that's the wrong hole" for the last time.
i can now get sex on a playground off my list of things to do in life.
Just cleaned up my puke with my lecture notes.
new years resolution: more sex, less car punching, more chipotle.
Should study in library more often, procrasturbating is less of an option.
No subtext here. People are naked.
i just ran into my boss at the liquor store. we didnt exchange words, just nodded in mutual understanding.
his mom gave me my lost underwear folded up along with the rest of my christmas present. tell me this cannot be happening.
When I woke up I had three missed calls from the name 'dream krystals'.... If I remember correctly she was the lady at the drive thru at Krystals and her name was Dream.. She wanted to come to the strip club with us... Do you remember?
Happy you have kids and I don't day!
Honestly, this is a first for me. I've always prided myself on my ability to pretend to get along with others.
SOME DUDE PUT OUT FOR A MCCHICKEN AND YET YOU STILL WON'T FUCK ME
like, there should be nothing wrong with me wanting to watch you put on a bikini and roll around in a kiddie pool of jello
Its not something you can force it it just has to happen like a rainbow or pooping
Randomize
