Y'know, without the cops, it would've just been us daydrinking,
At what point should shame kick in? Realising I had a one night stand with a man engaged or realising I am that man's wedding photographer?
i have wind burn on my face from my head hanging out the window of the cab vomitting
apparently breaking a beer bottle and then throwing up in a urinal is a terrible way to pick up girls.
You texted me 'I am the leopard prince', with a series of pictures of you posing in what seemed like cat poses. you were not "a little bit" drunk dude..
We're all getting matching jack daniels tattoos. We're gonna be an alcoholic gang of awesome.
He's not actually Jewish. Turns out he just wears the yarmulke to cover his bald spot.
Would it be playing god to put spaghetti on my pizza?
How hard do you think it would be to make a drinking game out of a Slip-N-Slide? Asking for a friend.
i tried to break up pigeon sex because one looked too young to consent. fireball feminism ftw
Fuck you guys, I'm trying to nurse my hangover and eat my chicken tenders in peace.
I threw my shoes out of frustration and walked home barefoot... can you help me find my shoes in the morning
Some bitch is passed out in a pool of vomit. Fucking lightweight, it's only 8.30.
Oh, wait.. That's you.
He said "I can't believe I had sex with a cat lady". Am I flattered or is this a new low?
You almost lost your european virginity to a Peruvian man waering a do-rag in a port-a-potty.
Randomize
