We all need desperate help. Maybe we should just become a group of people who walk around town and shit in peoples air vents
I'm down.
If we keep treating our bodies like amusement parks we have another 10 years left at best.
is it possible for your nipples to fall off? if so mine might. they hurt so bad...
His mom walked into the kitchen smiling, made a scotch on the rocks, hit my bong, and told us goodnight enthusiastically. He's suddenly more appealing to me.
My life is a requiem composed in the key of fuck.
Sometimes he has weird facial hair...Basically he has a penis... that's what he's got going for him.
Just pissed in my own closet. Had no idea adult dinner parties could he so awesome.
You slow clapped the stripper last night.
What color suit is the proper "i banged the bride" attire?
I have to deal with three things I do not like this weekend. Pooping in toilets that are not mine. Air mattresses. Not beating off in the shower.
On my way to get pizza I followed a dog into Salvation Army where I was just hired
I'm pretty sure I imagined the dog... They still hired me
11/10 would buy him a McLobster
Also I know you probably did not understand anything I said on the phone last night but thank you for pretending.
We discussed how many times we've passed out during sex. The answers may shock you.
My cat just tried to lay on my stomach while I was masturbating. And I let her because I am so starved for affection.
Randomize
