I think a girl in front of me glued an ugg tag to a weird pair of boots.
oh, it's pms. I almost cried yesterday bc my roommates didn't seem perky enough when I got home.
we got plastered, then made lists of anything thats ever been in our vaginas
I know. Brad is upset because he was lower on the list than "that carrot stick"
Your cat is quite the conversationalist after some tequila and shrooms
She said, "awww, you're so sweet" after I started putting on a condom. How many STDs have I just contracted?
ur not supposed to find someone to make out with when ur bf takes u to his SISTERS house to hang out with her and her husband
Turns out lunch break sex with someone you cant stand being around for any amount of time just makes you wish you had gone to get tacos like you originally planed.
But he's not just anonymous male genitalia anymore. I've met him, I've seen his face.
I just bought a bottle of lube for my car.
First poop in my apartment for the summer, officially settled in. :)
Of course I'm going to see her again. She had waterproof handcuffs in her shower.
Girl i am always here for you. But i am going to have sex now so im going to call you in the morning.
she threw up on her exam, awkwardly wiped it off with her sleeve and continued writing.
It was pretty awesome. I drank out of a stein and attempted to dance to dubstep with some older guys in leiderhosen.
I’M PUT OFF FROM FOOD RN BC EARLIER I GOT SOME WATER AND I WAS 4 SIPS IN WHEN I NOticed A FUCKING BURGER KING F R Y IN MY D R I N K
Randomize
