Its weird to pet your cat with a boner
What the fuck?
just did awkward shuffle by the bagels in the dining hall at 7:30 AM with a kid i've hooked up with. goodbye freshman year.
Pray the makeout fairy visits me this weekend.
So if you want this MFM threesome thing to happen the other guy is here and willing
she looked at me completely serious and said "orgasms are 15% Stronger during a hurricane" and started to take all her clothes off
I think you would be disgusted with me if you knew how many times I had imaginary sex with you today
I vaguely remember making out with his tattoo (?) and giving him an awesome massage and then I passed out on his floor. Shrug
Do you ever wonder what the men who we shamelessly objectify would think if they saw our texts in regard to them?
I wonder how your parents would feel if the scarf they gave me for Christmas is mainly being used for a blindfold during sex...
He just snapchatted me a picture of his cock. The angle makes it look like a freakin skyscraper. Thinking of photoshopping a little monkey on it.
I'm drunk at 3:28
I'm jealous as shit at 3:34
Look. When I let you cum on my tits don't fuck it all up by going "SKEET SKEET SKEET" it just pisses me off.
Leave it to me and my dad to puke on the same guy at the same bar 25 years apart
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
if being 21 means slamming 99 cent margaritas at 3:00 in the afternoon on a Tuesday then call me Peter Pan IM NEVER GROWING UP
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