in pain and im wearing pink underwear
so?
i dont own pink underwear
how ive managed to spend 100$ at an open bar is beyond me.
it was just fiscally responsible to stop going to strip clubs where the strippers recognized me
Only you could be admitted to the ER and walk out with a nurse's phone number. I wish I was gay
WHATEVER CLASS IS PLAYING "TOOT IT AND BOOT IT" AT 8:30 IN THE MORNING, I WANT IN.
We left an ass print on the piano.
Swear to god, if I have to wingman for you on my honeymoon I'm gonna be pissed
He has in a pan: ten pieces of bacon, two cloves of garlic, an egg (not scrambled or hard boiled, just an egg) and frozen corn.
The spray paint was a bad idea, 'insert penis here' isn't coming off
That kid i sell weed to just had his mom give him a ride over here she waited in the car while he bought a bag
This is the Santa Claus of hangovers. It just keeps giving.
True. So did you hook up with pasta or the ultimate warrior
Little bit of both
I renamed some of my contacts in my phone before passing out and I have one I cant figure out, its "fucking house elf scum"
sometimes you just gotta rip off the nipple tape and get it done.
Mandatory face masks - finally, a solution for lip augmentation failures and bad breath.
Randomize
