so I think I'm done having sex with her, she's way too crazy
what about the blowjobs for adderall?
no those are still okay
Do you think most people who work at an airport Chili's can pin point where their lives went wrong?
All I've accomplished this quarter is making Uno an acceptable drinking game.
They were done having sex when I went to the room. They had that look on their faces.
Disappointment?
Just spent the last three hours in the library successfully refreshing facebook
She either was great at sex or I finished the whole bottle of svedka my self
Gave a homeless guy 3 bucks earlier. Just saw him at the bar. He bought one beer and left. Happy to see my 3 dollars was well spent
This is to remind you the pizza is in the dishwasher birthday boy eat it before it goes on
Woke up this morning in a randoms bed clutching an airplane ticket. God I hope I'm still in the country
I'm soaked in champagne. I'm eating oatmeal from mcdonalds tonight was glorious
Watching elf, eating a tub of ice cream, and coming to terms with the fact that I haven't had sex in 5 months. Happy fucking holidays.
ill be home in an hour. Be in my bed ready for disappointment
not ubering you a puppy
He ran out to tell us that somebody flooded the bathroom, then went back in there fell on his ass and asked why the floor was wet
I remember waking up on the bathroom floor and seeing my teeth behind the toilet
Randomize
