Got a little crazy huh? Happy st pattys day. None of you have any idea where my credit card would be do you? How do i always lose
I wish I could punch you in the face.
Well, ive pounded a baby into a stripper and a girl who was on jerry springer, a 16 year old is logically next.
To make up for the snow days we missed he's making us write a paper on alcoholism. It's like he knows.
He just stabbed two olives and a pickle with a fork and deep throated it in front of my family
Not even marginally surprised
I vaguely remember chanting "USA" at the pool when we were talking to the Frenchies.
We were pointing at fat people and chanting USA.
How many vodka infused gummi bears count as 1 drink?
we're like Indians of the 21st century. trading not for food and survival but personal gain and by trouble you mean getting daytime drunk and going to the roller ring then yes.
C'mon. I'm still an alcoholic at heart, regardless of its broken or not
Can you stop being a bitch and just take some Kaluha shots with me bro?!?
Mind if I sleep with your cousin? If I can... thanks. If no, sorry its gonna happen.
Ok I'm drunk as fuck already at 529 and this waitress started flirting with me, I wanna bang her for acknowledging my existence
I don't intentionally mean to ruin relationships for personal gain but. Yeah nah I totally do.
High me is so sweet. She left not-high me a fortune from a fortune cookie and 6 packets of soy sauce in my tampon drawer.
he invited me over. we listened to jazz, smoked weed, then cerebrally fucked each other over a three hour game of chess
Randomize
