Getting drunk in a different country is not a good idea. Lets just say spanish women, 17 yr olds from missouri, prostitutes, and a poodle. I don´t want to leave spain.
She's holding my hand. I'm going to kill myself.
becoming an adult blows. i don't think its possible for me to wake up for anything that doesn't involve kegs and eggs or half naked bums passed out in our yard.
I'm in the grocery store cradling a box of wine like it's my firstborn, so of course this would be the first and only time I've ever seen my boss outside of the office.
If it wasn't obvious enough to the cops that she was drunk, she threw in, "I like the colors of the lights because it makes purple."
Supposedly i was taking multiple birth control pills while screaming dot judge me. Never going back
Spent 200 bucks on a stripper for a good night hug. I give up.
Who is this?
You offered to lift up your dress at the bar so I could see your lower back tattoo
Um, I think that was a general offer to everyone. So...who IS this?
I told him we couldn't hang out because I had strep, he said he's had it once so he couldn't get it again. The sex isn't worth this level of stupidity
It's been a year of occasional hook ups....this was bound to happen sometime even with your jank ovary schedule.
Idk man, she was drunker than me and i was sitting there talking to a raccoon about it's broken leg.
Pictures of drunk me in a bike helmet are like McDonald's collectible toys. There's sooo many, but NO ONE has seen all of them.
Only you could make a stripper uncomfortable by eye fucking her too much.
Dude I was tripping acid when she was crying and I literally couldn't defend myself
I was supposed to go on a date tonight but I cancelled because I found out the Lizzie McGuire movie is on Netflix.
Randomize
