I was just curling my hair topless and I just burned my nipple. Ouch.
remember tomorrow: you burned the inside of your nose with incense. it hurt.
She was so drunk yelling at me in my driveway to fuck her. It was the ghetto version of Romeo and Juliet.
It was great. Even bought me breakfast in the AM
From?
Well, he didn't exactly take me out, but left a $20 on the table...
He then proceeded to tell me about his enlarged lymph nodes, his"severe" case of blue balls.
I had a great penis washing session in the sink before I left. Washed off all the bar and green beer
Trying to grind with crutches was not a success
she cried into her fur with two handfuls of money- she was the physical manifestation of white girl problems
I'm figuring, since someone shoved pizza crust in my ear last night, there might be some leftover pizza.
So apparently I threw a potted plant at a clown last night and told him to get his life together.
I ate 12 cupcakes in less than 24 hours, so no judgement here.
Handcuffed our DD to a naked stripper don't think he will try to sneak out
He can pick locks you know
That's the reason for the naked stripper
A stripper just invited me to her daughter's birthday. Where did my life go wrong?
Sneezing cum all over the table was not the highlight of the family reunion if that tells you anything
Well he has a golden retriever set as his background so there's no way he was filming us having sex
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