Nope, Im Irish and pissed with some drunk mixed in...therefore punching things is the best solution to every problem.
Went home with a 29 year old from the bar. Life lesson: 9 year olds stay up late sometimes
It's sad how good I am at giving people diseases
his cum tasted like old pizza and looked like old milk
I want a meaningful relationship and i wont get one if i keep giving him blow jobs in my basement while watching family guy.
I should have slept with you when you were wearing the gorilla suit. I've had dreams about your chest hair. I hope jail wasn't too bad.
If she says "This is how acid feels" one more time I'm never trip-sitting them again.
bro, your right, i shouldn't feel embarrassed about taking shots from a penis-shaped ice sculpture
If this first date goes well and I like him, I won't sleep with him. But if it doesn't go well, I'll sleep with him.
Idk dude but he said something bout his "dick was gonna be so tan" then he jus jumped out of the car
Oh god. I just had a sex dream about the talking dog from the Bush's Baked Beans commercials.
Ever since we've gotten back together, it's like the ghosts of booty call's past have been hitting me up. Lol.
In my defense I didn't know there was concrete on the other side of that fence when I tossed him over it.
You're both fucking idiots and this is why I should never let you two drink alone.
Just letting you know that your little sister is now your eskimo brother. You can send a thank you edible arrangement to Tammy.
can I CTRL ALT DELETE this universe
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