he has a girlfriend so we used my stuffed animals to pretend to have sex
I am really glad that on the inside of a card from your grandparents you have transcribed the rules for circle of death
i found a roscoes card in my pocket that says 'fuck me bare fo $15.20'. Wow
thanks for being my friend even though im irresponsible with my vagina
all i remember thinking as i was puking my intestines out is : wow.. this toilet does look like it's from the future.
know what turns me on? long, stringy hair on a pasty looking girl with an overstuffed backpack and kneepads over her jeans in case she falls off her scooter
your less of a man for seeing that
his profile picture is him throwing up "#1" hands after his lax championship next to his coach that i fucked....embarrasing for him, yet ironically beautiful for me.
Apparently william has a "couch montage"...an album of facebook photos of himself on different couches in various states of happiness and despair. A heartwrenching journey through what was clearly a significant part of his life. I'd mock him more but I think the fact that I looked through it means he's already won
The fact that he said "there's nothing wrong with being a raging drunk, just ask my mother." has me thinking that I have no positive role-models among my friends.
I feel like the fact that I slept with someone who dresses up like Batman a few times will never be lived down.
I guess she fell asleep at the strip club and the other one was crying because she had a vagina in her face. Happy 21st!
Just woke up. Naked. Under an animal pelt. With a girl. I've never met her. She's pretty naked too.
How do you politely tell a guy that you only kissed him so he would shut the fuck up?
I'm here. Help me get the salsa and bong inside.
The more drunk I get the more I want to steal a lamb
What would be the possible repercussions of lamb theft
Randomize