Yep, it's a dick on our front door. Intentional?
What are you drinking?
Shitty Coors light. OM NOM NOM TASTES LIKE HIGH SCHOOL
the #6 from wendy's when stoned is definitely better than sex. i dont care what anyone says.
Omg. In the pub, there's a guy shouting at the olympic channel 'yeah! Kill that motherfucker!' we're watching figure skating.
Apparently I had an idea for a cooking show and then proceeded to throw cookies at people.
You were so high you insisted on spoon feeding me your KFC bowl while I was driving.
Was who let the dogs out playing?
Ya. You started barking when it ended
All I'm saying is that your next houseguest had better not barge in on me in the shower demanding I wash the stolen dye from his hair. I'm not doing that a second time.
She was a little hefty, so I turned on the strobe light in our room. Everything looks better with a strobe light.
Whatever dude, just dont tell her your first impression was she looked like your cousin. no judgement here. just sayin.
I just want to be covered in whipped cream and spanked, is that too much to ask?
We're not piercing ourselves today.
Sometimes you've gotta crawl to stay concious
We could put on there: "Drink jager bombs and do stupid shit faster, with more energy!"
Can someone please remind me later tonight that there's a taco in my purse. I may get drunk and forget I put it there
I know this shouldnt be a problem, but there are too many women hitting on me. I dont know what to do
Randomize
