Went to gas station for smokes. three cops pulled in. got gas i didn't need. found diff gas station.
good choice.
That's the great thing about NY, if you pee your dress you have an entire cab ride to air dry your panties before the next club.
I developed a drinking game for WoW. Everytime I die, I take a shot.
Please get laid.
I'm on the bus going to class. And a cop just rolled by and I got nervous because I didn't have my seatbelt on. I have to stop smoking so much weed.
We did it and he fell asleep and I was bored so I decided to go back to the party...is that bad?
So I vaguely remember making out with you this morning, I think you were on a date?
So me and him are making out, and the other two are on the couch behind us. he randomly stops kissing me and goes "oh god I think she just took off her shirt" I look behind me and I see her tits flapping up and down. This man has amazing senses..
I recommend we watch the Super Bowl together and have celebratory sex if we win. Good news is I don't have a team I dislike so were guaranteed a win.
At least I'm fat on the outside. You can NEVER change being fat on the inside.
I'm reliable. I always make it home. I always throw up in the street too.
I'll truly miss your penis but your use of words and phrases such as bae, yolo, swag, and totes have ruined how attractive you once were.
Bringing my mom Taco Bell and weed. I'm such a good daughter
He adjusted my bra straps while I blew him.
I dont know which is weirder.. the fact that i just watched our mom kick ass at beer pong and ride the pole like a true fire girl or the fact that ive never felt closer to her in my life.
The high school classes are online, not my sex life. He still comes over for “teacher / parent conferences.” A couple more “conferences” and I’ll be able to rewrite the Sex Ed curriculum
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