I'm really into asian looking animals
i wish i could watch tv and lissten to music at the same time...but still understand both
i think otters can do that
i just masturbated with purell and my dick burns and smells like a hospital
Just found 50 pesos and a coke spoon in my dads old shit. Gotta love the 70s
are you going to last longer than 15 seconds
nope
And for 6 straight hours, I laid on my bedroom floor trying to convince myself it would perfectly acceptable to pee on my own floor
His sister just told me that she thinks i'm a stupid bitch and that by going thru with this I'm ruining his life.
sounds like a hell of a rehearsal dinner
I'm buying eyelash glue, salt, and limes. We know how tonight is ending.
Using the ceiling fan to slice the hotdogs in mid-air can only be contributed to our liberal use of 1800.
It's okay, I climbed on the roof of the bar to get my shoe back. This may become a Saturday tradition. I'll keep you updated
just shotgunning some tallboys in the cooler, you?
HOW DO YOU GET RAISES EVERY TWO WEEKS?!
He just yells "mush!" as they're having sex.
Our sex is like an episode of "The Simpsons." Picture Homer choking Bart, and that's pretty much what we're into.
Do NOT. I repeat. DO NOT call me little one after we have fucked. In no world is that ok. Even jesus agrees.
dude I fucking saw you snort tequila
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