how do flat chested girls get laid?
Overdraft my account again. Parents are starting to ask questions. What would go over better a gambling or drug addiction??
When the question of, do you know who's ass has been on the cake you are eating is said... Good or bad party?
Thanks for bailing me out last night guys. it's bullshit that everbeering people at bars is illegal. bitches have no sense of adventure anymore
I had 800 mg of ibuprofen 2 b vitamins and I'm pounding water like I'm trying to win a hazing
Me and this random chick had a conversation about how to save the world. 2 words: Dance. Battles. I love drunk heart to hearts in bar bathrooms.
So when I eventually, if ever, find someone I'd like to marry, do you think having people fly to africa for a lion king themed wedding is too much?
hey dude, just got with the girl in H4. so mark H off the apartment list
haha we are half through our lease and already checked off 17 letters
I successfully convinced a drunk NDSU student that their school does not have a football team and another that they weren't in Fargo. I'm a dangerous sober shark in a sea of drunks.
I felt like a personal hot pocket and all I could taste was cigarettes.
So glad the long weekend is over so I can bring this bender to a merciful end.
Watching a guy masturbate in real time is a lot less theatrical than porn had me to believe.
His flight was delayed by two hours though. I just got cock-blocked by clouds :(
I think I'd rather see her get hit by a car in one of those Russian dash cam videos on YouTube.
I jizzed in his mayonnaise and put it back in the fridge. Shouldn't have stolen my weed.
Randomize
