So why didn't Edward and the Cullens just kill Hitler?
You need to stop watching Twilight.
we sat in the hammock and pretended we were skydiving for three hours. jack actually started crying when i convinced him his chute didnt open.
Can we fast forward to the part where we get gyros
Just hide your weed in your baby brothers shirt. TSA wont check a baby, thats fucked up
how are you not completely traumatized after 8 years of friendship with me?
She was drinking straight whiskey out of her peacock shaped vase again.
She is just sitting by the bathroom like a little puppy waiting for a knight in shining armor to take her in there to fuck her. New low?
Another reason why I like dubstep now, it makes me feel even higher than I already am.
Just cleaned someone else's sperm off of my bedroom wall. Never throwing a house party again.
to drive Frat boys away, one just needs to cat-call at them. It makes their masculinity weaker, and yours stronger.
You tried crawling through the apartment window instead of going through the wide open door next to it
You KNOW it was a good night when you find French fries AND taco remnants in your bra when you get home...
Shit is getting real. I just adjusted my search radius for my dating profile to ANY FUCKING WHERE
High. As. Fuck. I thought the kid next to me didn't have an arm for like 2 hours.
Hahahaha I'm glad you woke me up with this text.
His sister gave me the "if you hurt him I will break your neck" talk. I didn't know how to tell her we're not a couple.
Randomize
