Pretty girls always come out on top. Or bottom. Whatever. Point is we come out with their boyfriends.
dude. FULL moustache. it was like getting head from Tom Selleck
She texted me and said she was fingering herself. Don't respond to this because she's the perfect girl. I'd love to smell her cell phone after that.
I assume you meant to text someone else on your contact list instead of your own mother...
Yes. It's so easy to pack to leave when you've thrown away half your clothing cause it smells like vomit.
I've decided I'm either going to ease him into this breakup by having a threesome with him and the girl I'm leaving him for, or be brutal and fuck his room mate. it depends how nice he is tonight.
Yeah, it kinda sucks. But it was fun while it lasted. And honestly, his penis is way too big for my life.
People shouldn't leave you two alone together. You're just going to end up having sex.
I feel like I've asked you "are you okay?" one too many times in the last 48 hours. You're hopeless.
I swear to god he's making pineapple onions and cheese. He thinks he's making eggs onions and cheese
if elf comes on TV one more time i swear to god i will smash my brains out with this fruitcake
So do I get to ride the beginning of the November stache or what?
Sorry for peeing on you and your bed last night.
His condition for us having sex was that I wore my show boots. #equestrianproblems
It's been THREE DAYS. Why do I still have the munchies?!
You know you started drinking too early in the day when you have a hangover at midnight
thats called having FUN
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