lol earlier she was acting like a normal gf... and then BANG! shes touching herself again...
I ate one of your animal crackers. just one. ok four. but no frosting. ok frosting.
The sex was so good, I called my ex during the 2nd time just so he could hear. Is that mean?
Lauren will drop me off I'll be drunk ride you for a little bit and then you can go to sleep
sorry. that wasn't for you
Fuckbuddy couldn't meet, so she's trying to find a substitute to come fuck me. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
Faces of meth called, they want their look back.
She keeps asking if I've seen him... For the last time YES... IN MY BED LAST FRIDAY NIGHT AND THEN AGAIN SATURDAY MORNING
One guy got his nose broke and was playing with it. Then another guy was playing beer pong off his horse.
Also just throwing this out there I don't think anyone who brings another girl back to your bed to share with you can qualify as a frigid bitch
this dude, we had a connection. he kept smiling at me. it's like he knew i was gonna facebook stalk the fuck out of him
Looks like I've become the Walter White of my PhD cohort.
No judgement. Sometimes you gotta twerk on a legends face.
I'm giving head in a stairwell, I'll be back in a few minutes. I'm so ashamed.
In honor of Super Tuesday, we should have the sex tonight.
Planning a vacation around my dog. I have become one of those dog moms.
Randomize
