maybe you should take the dick out of your mouth before you start talking.
i did. i'm using it as a microphone.
please tell me if i'm home and in my bed
negative
come find me please
woke up this morning with "hah" written on my penis.i was like wtf?? morning wood kicked in and found out what it really said, haNNah.then i remembered.
A friday without alcohol is hardly a friday at all
i looked up his schedule, waited outside his classroom, and handed him the receipt for plan b
i really need to stop putting makeup on my cats..
dude, there's a fucking musical in my head. it's fucking awesome being this high.
You picked me up and threw me on a barstool and shoved shots in front of me.
Thats like the definition of a good friend
Make sure to show her the sewer we were arrested in on your tour.
My friend and I just coined a new term. OBJ. The obligatory blow job. You totally know what I'm talking about.
Like if he goes down on you first, or you just don't want to bone him yet. OBJ.
You're the only true friend I have, if true friendship is based off who would be there for me at 4am during a boxed wine crisis.
I knew it was time to stop when you guys were playing a drinking game called "every three steps take a drink"
did you just try to prove your straightness by quoting a lady gaga song?
He's a snuggler. Every time I attempt to make a move to find my bra he reigns me in. Needless to say i could be here a while.
They are like the regular squirrels and we are flying squirrels
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