Hoooooo maaaaan
Yes?
I'm retarded. Again.
I had a dream that I had 21 friend requests. it was the best day
There's a girl n class drinking wine out of a taco bell cup. I can smell it.. it's totally reisling. JEALOUS.
My parents just out drank me... I cant get back to college soon enough
Too high to move please buy hi-c and pour it in my mouth in exchange I will marry your first born child
Doing shrooms is fine until you get raped by curtains
I'm okay with corrupting his young mind.
Ew! He's just a child!
AND I'M GONNA SHOW HIM HOW TO MAKE ONE.
Come to wine Wednesday bro. We have a fog machine
Are we at that point yet where I can just say "I want you to sit on my face"? If not, want to go out for "drinks"?
She's running around the streets punching people and narrating. I don't know whether to laugh or stop her
This may be the alcohol talking, but I'm pretty sure I know Spanish now
I just got CPR certified, don't make me need these skills so soon
I woke up next to a box of cheese bread it was super romantic
I'd rather plunge my eyes out than acknowledge being related to either of my brothers
That’s the third time this month he’s hooked up with a girl by telling her it’s his bachelor party, and he’s not even dating a chick let alone engaged.
Randomize
