He saved me in his phone as Easy Jen. Should I be offended?
I wouldn't worry about it. He has me as "Sex Puppet."
Guess what? I had way too much to drink today. I'm properly wasted. Doing chores and playing video games while drunk. It's the nexus of stupidity and responsibility.
Before he took my jeans off all he said was "no hard feelings from middle school right?"
she told me I give head better than a lesbian. I know it's a great compliment but it kind of threw me off.
I should have but it might be too early in this fuckbuddyship to emasculate him
He passed out on the floor and you kept hitting him in the dick and screaming "hammer of justice".
Whoever decided it was a good idea to sell 40's at a bar with life-sized jenga deserves a nobel prize.
If only we could all 3 say fuck school to be stoner flight attendants
I am tired of banking on my penis size to overcome my lack of game.
Opened the apartment door and the smell of sex and weed literally slapped me across the face. Kudos.
Hey Cat, it's Michael. You made out with me for a hot dog last night and I feel super used.
We drove through Taco-Bell on our way to the ER
Tip of the day: Don't Amazon vibrators when your WHOLE FAMILY uses your prime account. There's dildo after dildo showing up in my "Related to Items You've Viewed" category on the home page.
I woke up on the floor with 2 cartons of cigarettes, a box of chocolate bars, and a business card for a man named Larry. Don't remember him, but if the Rols on his card is his, I might throw him a mouth party...
he was snoring so I have him a bj to wake him up and then told him he had to leave.
Randomize
