I got three cases. When they asked for id I said it was suspended for drunk driving.
I'm playing a drinking game with nyc prep. This will not end well for meeee
Everytime the gay dude pretends he's not gay, drink a cosmo. Everytime the crosseyed girl is crosseyed, kill her
you're just mad because in the hogwarts world I'm Harry and you're Ron. get over it.
she moaned out jack bauer's name while i was banging her...
I have an asthmatic alcoholic for a roommate. That can't be safe.
he just voluntarily told me he was uncircumsized.. and that his favorite color was blue.
Yessssssssss. I got taped to a couch last night apparently. I also thought i was close to scoring after talking to some chick about hard boiled eggs
i can recognize that vagina from a mile away
Ok, Jen and I are going out tonight and getting rowdy. I think you and Steph need to come. I understand if you can't, but not going out means you're automatically obligated to post bail. If necessary.
Today is definitely a "stand over the toilet and pee through the opening at the bottom of my boxers" kind of day.
I guess the silver lining is that having a big dick really comes in handy when you're hungover.
It's a mixed blessing.
Hes trying to fuck me on a bear rug. Not saying no.
Dude I broke her toilet blowing some dude. I wasn't going to turn down the 300$ he offered to fix it.
I still can't believe that I ate McDonald's off of my chest in his bed...
Cross faded me is not the classiest.
No not at all haha I wish there was a picture of that
If its not for food we ain't going out.
You had all day to plan ahead & get mixers, so whose fault is this sobriety?
Randomize
