What do you say about some mid-afternoon anal?
if she mentions anything about chili and my phone, just go with it
My boobs are too big for things to be going this downhill in my life.
is he apposed to sex in general? or just porch sex?
i just added your friend Valery on the FB just to comment on your tits.... thought id give you a heads up
Um he just came into the kitchen naked to get her purse or something?
Its ok. I handled the situation with grace and class. lol jk i got shitfaced and fucked his roomate.
So apparently we dropped beers outside the apartment last night, and someone RETURNED them! Ha like what? I just walked out the front door to Christmas in a box on my doorstep.
I left the bar I'm on a bench across from the bowling alley taking a nap please come get me. I've had three lollipops.
just imagine me sitting naked on a toilet with a fully-clothed dude i havent seen in 2 years, trying to make normal conversation except that im covered in blood and he's helping wipe me down while i try not to pass out because blood makes me NERVOUS. And he's apologizing and i'm apologizing.
This guy on the tube is sooooooo high. Eyes are bloodshot and he's licking his headphone cords.
There was a comma in between her and dick. I was calling you a dick. Jesus.
I'm not sure why he thinks weird that I masturbate AND look at pinterest at the same time.
i had to call the bar to ask if they found my bowling ball. That good of a night
Did a 4 pm walk of GLORY the next day.
Randomize
