I just high-fived this girl after she swallowed.
if i could have babies with my dog i totally would cause i know thay would be fucking hott babies.
a pedometer??? no beatles?Steve jobs just took a dump in CA and it landed on my heart
Well let's just say that she ended up trying to get it in with the wheelchair guy, who btw, can get an erection and quickly I might add
I just found my coat check number in my underwear.
ITS DAYLIGHT SAVINGS TIME SUNDAY EVERYTHING IS GOING TO BE OK AFTER ALL
They want me to get them some X for there wedding present. I'm on the way to get it now
Pretty sure I'm taking the break up well. Alcohol made me okay with it and drugs keep me agreeing with why I dumped him in the first place.
Oh I already celebrated valentine's day. I stayed up until 4 AM listening to biggie, drinking rum, and caressing all my girl curves in front of the mirror. And then I came 3 times.
Before he comes over remember the house standards. Ask yourself "will he stalk my sister or myself in the future?". If the answer is yes, then no, he isn't allowed.
I feel like every time I get the courage to masturbate to a guy from Game of Thrones, they kill him off.
Please put me on a plane and hypontize me into forgetting the little bit of last night that I do remember.
I mean, I bought pot and shampoo before I ran out. I think I can adult.
Should I apologize for the loud sex I had in his living room? Because I'm not going to.
Definitely not.
A legendary roster of degenerates has been assembled.
Randomize
