You can't motorboat a personality
Just saw cops pull over the ice cream truck. What a dick
bought some hannah montana deodorant. hope it doesnt make me smell untalented
You know your from las vegas when the girl on the stage in the strip club was in my US gov class senior year
She just messaged me 19 sad faces.
Its midnight, he's burning water on the stove and keeps yelling at me and telling me not to burn myself.
I know it's pride week, but your asshole is just never supposed to taste like banana.
Best part of having a window in your office is that you can leave through it when you shit your pants at work.
Why is there a condom in the dishwasher...
I woke up and found a doughnut on our front porch. It's not sketchy though. More like a gift from the gods.
Sex is always the answer.
Especially if the question is: what have I not had this year?
SO EXCITED ABOUT STRING CHEESE RIGHT NOW
I may have taken the entire adderall. I FEEL LIKE THE FUCKIN HULK. I can't stop cleaning and organizing and doing the clean things
I'll give you one guess. It has a cock and I want it
The bouncer said the club was at capacity we couldnt get in till ppl left all three of them pulled their tits out we got complimentary bottle service never under estimate women
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