I give out O-faces like they're halloween candy
Did u pay ur friends to not make fun of me?
You watched "From Justin to Kelly" and sang along to more than half of the songs. I didn't know whether to laugh or to be insanely frightened that you knew almost all the lyrics.
You seriously don't know?He was trying to arrest you and you were shouting that you were being punk'd. Punk'd? that show got cancelled like 5 years ago.
He lit his shirt on fire at the bar by putting a lit cigarette in the pocket to "save for later."
The EMTs said they would give me as many blankets as I wanted if I didn't pee in the ambulance. They even turned on the sirens.
Also, they sell weed-chocolate covered strawberries. For the romantic stoner.
That was one of the best texts I got today
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
Two words: blizzard sex
It's pretty self explanatory. You tried to have sex on the hood of a car in front of everyone
I wonder if my sister will drive me around while I do bong hits in the back seat..
I'm talking to a corgi on tinder..wtf has my life come to
That's the second time the same cop pulled me over well a different girl was giving me road head
woke up hungover this morning lying in a water raft covered in water.. i dont know if i should consider this good or bad
You remember my neighbor with the perfect ass? It's even better in assless chaps.
Randomize
