"Worlds Wildest Videos" should be called "Crazy White People"
Just went through campus. In the span of 2 min I saw 4 places I've had sex. And thats just down one street. Man do I miss college.
I hope you realize, I'm counting on you as my wingman next semester. It's your turn to advertise another man's penis. I did my tour all freshman year.
i think i swapped my keys for drugs last night
I drunkenly took 3 laxatives last night since I felt fat.... this is going to be a rough morning
He legit watched "Cops" the entire time he was fingering me.
I do NOT want my proposal story to start "...he was peeing on me and then..."
I just found out my younger brother has me saved in his contacts as "Womb Primer" and I don't know what to do with this information
My ex's new gf is pregnant and he is sterile, so 2016 is starting off well.
Everything is bullshit and I hate everyone
The stripper started talking about murdering people....that lapdance turned dark.....
My saturday night consisted of sewing my Halloween costume and watching Blues Clues
You actually...sewed your costume?
I legit measured his penis against my chapstick and it was too close to call. So that was my night.
All our friends are getting married, and I'm the dateless guy bringing molly to their weddings.
Do you remember punching the light out in the bathroom? I didn't, and that was at bar 2 of 4…
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