He is such a gentleman, he paid for my plan b
I did something last night that I shouldn't have, but I don't want to tell you because you'll probably just make it your fb status...
I see you've learned your lesson.
Hes the only one i know who can talk to a girl for an entire hour abuot the science in starwars and still get laid.
I just got a booty call..Its 6 pm..a brave attempt to climb the rotation ladder..I like his ambition.
I think I slept in the cheesecake last night. Either that or I had a wet dream. Whatever happened I need to wash my pants.
I figured out plans for New Year's and by figuring out I mean I've got a sugar bowl of cocaine. Start at 10?
I just had my first non-cocaine-induced nosebleed for the first time in 2 years. This calls for a celebration.
you took a potato out of your pocket and just started eating it raw. don't know where the potato came from though
21st birthday = success
He has a lot of emotional energy invested in your vagina.
Please show REO speedwagon ur boobs for me.
She's legally too young to drink and was making out with a guy who is ethically too old to drink.
I've reached the last of the wine in my cup so now I have to sit up in my bed to get it through the crazy straw
She rode me wearing nothing but a Santa hat. Merriest fucking Christmas!
I don't suppose you have a recipe for a cocktail made of bitter resignation, regretting everything, poor life descisions and deep-seated self-loathing?
You were supposed to catch herpes, not feelings!!!
Randomize
