she was so not down for the gang bang
I shampoo & condition my pubes, sometimes i wish my face was closer so i could rub against it cause it feels like plush
ok i'm going to motor boat your sister now. ttyl
you fell asleep during kickboxing this morning
how does that even happen??
Why do bread and butter chips remind me of eating out your mom?
I pulled down his boxers and a 20 dollar bill fell out. I'm telling you, the blowjob fairy EXISTS
She put up a picture of her grandmother on facebook, looks like the lazy eye runs in the family
Now she's making me sit here and look at pictures of guys she likes who look like bears. She's calling them her bear friends.
Fyi when u order four mini bottles of scotch on a 45 min flight. The flight attendants jaw drops to the floor.
I think I just got a contact from my own exhale. Def dying.
The bellhop gave us weed in our keycard envelop. We went down to tip him and he apparently never gets that so he just gave us more weed. Kentucky is strange
Had a booty call cancel on me tonight. Said he hurt his back. So this is what single and 30-something is like. Suck.
Question: If I got in a car accident and lost my memory of us, would you work your way back just so we could be fuck buddies again?
I'm watching The Vow and just need to know that I'm loved in some way
I was a little curious what "unspeakable" things he could possibly do to my feet
No more house parties. We're almost fucking 30 years old and I slept until 6 pm.
Randomize