oh god the rape fog is back!
i really wish my pants would only unzip when im sober
watching elf naked is so much better than watching it with clothes on .
How do I introduce myself to her without coming off as "the guy who jacks-off to her profile pic"?
Go for the frenulum. Its like eating a popsicle. They go nuts with that shit.
Last night you were talking while puking saying, "ahh the shoes and the purse, I'm gonna have to wash those"
I've reached the slutty point of no return. And it feels like multiple orgasms and coke lines
He tricked me into going on a double date with him, I don't like that he's not using me for just sex anymore
Second wind. Either that or my heart is about to explode. I'm hoping the first one.
her tits were more amazing then brown bears with armor and guns that fire bullets of Justice that destroys inequality.
show concern. Mark ate a butterfly and proceeded to drink more shots like nothing happened
Apparently I'm short enough to sit on his lap and fuck him while he is driving because the cop didn't notice.
I came to the party for him. I don't know where he went, but I mentioned being hungry and his housemate brought me a huge tupperware container of berry cobbler. I think I'll stay.
Idk if my headache is from the alcohol, the pot brownies, or being dragged down 8 flights of stairs by my ankles because i passed out in the 12th floor girls bathroom by you. Probably a combo of all three.
i passed out in front of ihop...for the second night in a row. i think i need to reevaluate my life choices
Randomize
