Whod you bang
We're going on a mission for new porn. And ice cream.
waiting in line for my ID. the kid in front of me reaks of hopes and dreams and hornyness-- freshmen by calvin klein
Just saw an Asian guy riding his razor scooter to class. Dreams do come true
I convinced her san diego was a state. all the proof I needed was saying, why do they call it san diego state university?
an unopened bag of salt and vinegar chips... probably the best thing I've ever found in my room while high.
Woke up and went out for a cigarette and it was dead quiet. It was like the world just knew how many mistakes were made last night.
My favorite part was walking in the bathroom, you fixing yourself in the mirror, calling your reflection a fag, then throwing a haymaker into the paper towel dispenser before going back out to the bar.
You know you're a whore when you color code your calendar with who you slept with on what day incase you have ANOTHER pregnancy scare
ASS. GYMANSTICS. OLYMPICS. NOW!!!
The reign of the rally queen is over. Welcome to the age of the walking dead.
He called us the '3 Amigos' and told us if hos ex wife came we had to jump the porch railing and hide in the bushes.
Positive reinforcement! I'm training him for being a good boy and coming over. He gets sex and cookies.
i pushed adam in a shopping cart for 15 blocks, then we realized we left tyler downtown
did you go back and get him?
nah we went to a karaoke bar instead, so worth it
My debit card was between my ass cheeks when i woke up. i vaguely remember putting it there for safe keeping
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