I just realized i haven't had sex in 2009. oh man thats embarrassing.
That guy youre talking to looks like Brian from Family Guy.
New first...just saw an entire family of homeless hitch hikers...kids and all. God, i love Oklahoma!
I felt weird they were both staring at me waiting for the scoop on how your vagina felt.
It's sore actually
We thought you were crowd-surfing until we realized it was the bouncers throwing you out
Lmao the neighbor heard yall last night She wanted me to tell you way to finish strong
Day drunk and a can of soup and wine straight from the bottle and alone and on my kitchen floor.
i hope youre ready for a shit show because we just ordered a whole pitcher of red headed sluts
you were leaning up against the wall pulling your shirt up asking girls to dance on you. your courage to do that is both admirable and frightening.
I gotta shower this stuff off me I'm starting to hear baby kittens in the toilet tank again..
I may or may not have traded your body to the rodeo's owner for free beer.
I think that's mostly how we became friends.
Well that, and your desire to put your penis in me.
He probably thinks you're playing hard to get.
Hard to get?? I'm playing leave me the fuck alone.
I learned a very valuable lesson tonight...don't touch a cops tazer
drunk and crying about Shakespeare- how's your night?
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