yay america 4th of july drinking game. take a drink every time you hear or see a firework, finish your drink for a mention of mj or the gosselins, a shot for the words democracy,hope, freedom, terrorism
I'm on a mission to free the leash kids. Like liberating the Israelites from Egypt. Only better.
My foreign exchange student got here today. I turned on man vs. food and told her that "this is all you need to know about America."
i just saw a man pushing two thirtys of beers in a stroller while his little kid ran to keep up. father of the year
remember last year when i left for the bar in flip flops and came back in heels?
it happened again.
It started as a joke and ended with a trip to the emergency room, a broken macbook and a gigantic hole in the concrete of my driveway.
you got me arrested i just think that goes without question you owe me a blowjob
For future reference, Twizzlers CAN leave welts.
I was mixing candy canes and coors light and was in a great place.
It's fine. I wouldn't trust either of them to be my workplace drug buddy.
DOUBLE NIPPLE PIERCINGS ARE HORRIFYING
Turns out Edward 40 hands and life-sized jenga is really hard...Didn't stop you from trying. How is your concussion?
Can we smoke pot out of a menorah?
STOP PUTTING PICTURES OF JONAH HILL IN MY KITCHEN CABINETS!
No ive been in the mountains getting high and baking cookies with a 4 year old
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