remember them days when you seriously wanted your mom to marry rev run and we would always talk shit about justine?
joeyyyy why you always taken cheeseburgers from me?!?!?!
Don't worry we didnt bang. Sometimes I just bring guys home so I don't order pizza.
Just sold this kid "Magic Furry Apples". He is way to high to figure out they are just peaches.
At least he's a nutritious stoner...
the guy in the stall next to me, came in, farted, laughed, and proceeded to give himself some sort of hillbilly pep talk that included the phrase "big pussy".
I walked into the kitchen and twelve of them were just staring at the oven. Freshmen are the weirdest drunks ever.
She deserves a chance to suck my penis. This is America. Its her God given right.
This chick had a condom box organized by size with dividers that glowed in the dark.
He told me"I think your ready for this" and went into his closet whipped out a movie certiffied light saber.
I know this is super early in advance but can I borrow your horse mask on 4/20
Operation rebound complete... I fucked the bouncer
Unless he's under 18, in which case you put him back where you found him this instant.
Make a note to pack something that won't catch shell casings in your cleavage
just hooked up with a guy ON MY CAMPUS VISIT. god only knows whats gonna happen when im actually a student
Remember that pair of super cute shorts I pooped in? I miss those 😔
I was at his place until 2am. We just sat really close an stared at each other. I think you are right. Germans must not have feelings. Not even tingly ones in their pants.
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