I think they should rename 16 and pregnant to "I was fucked in highschool and all I got was a baby and humiliated infront of the nation on MTV"
The only pictures he has from one of the biggest football weekends is an album titled "I miss my dog" filled with tons of pictures of his dog and him. This relationship must end.
His facebook interests include 'unstrapping velcro'.
Dude, I don't care how big her tits are. I have to dump her. She shit in my shower.
May have caused an international incident. More details after we taxi in.
Haha crisis adverted. Just told my dad I need to bone this guy. Nbd. He totes understands
REALLY should have cleaned under my bed before I had my parents come help me pack...things my parents just found: several condoms and a bottle of lube. My mom when she found a condom: "ooo ribbed. Laura's a lucky girl"
Please stop letting me make out with hot lesbians.
Definitely not. I may be your best friend, but first and foremost I am a guy. Please continue.
I just added a bunch of arbitrary options to my ouija board. Ghosts can now tell me "cheddar," "the homosexual agenda," "the whole foods vegan aisle," or "viable offspring"
i refuse to give everyone the satisfaction of seeing the results of my acting on my thoughts
It's a sad statement on my day when the high point was getting a pap test.
Who says no to sex and donuts?!
there is a tent in the living room. its a vip tent room. i want in.
When I told her I was deaf and took my hearing aids out at night to sleep, she said it must be nice not having to hear drunken roommates having awkward sex late at night.
He has an 8 pack! HE HAS AN 8 PACK!!!!
Randomize