I think dad's getting high again. His last google search was "awesome ping pong shit."
Gross thing of the day...i got cum in my new boots
The question of "Will I eat a piece of curried chicken off the floor?" has been answered tonight.
I also would have accepted most things ending in "job", erotic favors, and food.
So if you want this MFM threesome thing to happen the other guy is here and willing
Im so excited to get permanently banned for life from all the old bars again, it is gonna be christmas after all
You're not on my level until you shop at Petsmart for sex accessories.
How do I explain the handcuffs and tanning goggles on our living room floor? There's rope too. The cats love the rope.
The guy I woke up with is wearing the same nailpolish as me...I need to stop drinking
I have just gotten home. I saw a lot of penis tonight. On a trampoline. Shit got weird.
He was in the middle of making out with two girls at once, but then the guy next to me said "I feel like I'm watching Animal Planet" he stopped to give him a high five
We were sitting in a hot tub debating how drunk we could get by osmosis if we kept spilling our drinks in it. This is what engineering college does to you.
When he texted me, I got a little wet. Until he asked me to get Jimmy Johns before I got to his house.
I am at the car wash dressed as a turn of the century librarian
We are balling out on levels, I think mikes about to go to jail. something to do with a unicorn and rainbows, the cops are not being reasonable.
Randomize
