so the guy who showed me the apt today is now texting me and asking me out for drinks...he's at least 20 yrs oldr than me and highlights his hair, but part of me is wondering how low i can talk him down in rent during sex? wrong?
And then i had a penis in each hand. It was magical.
I almost puked on my graduation application. perfect.
Hate is such a strong word! I prefer to think that you strongly dislike me due to the honesty I show towards your routine shortcomings of success in life.
I wish you could take over my body and feel what my nipple feels like right now
Wow I didn't even consider the possibility of him having ED. I'm gaining so many life experiences from dating an older man
Her next conquest seems to be stealing her ex-boyfriend's new girlfriend. Pretty sure everyone involved is totally OK with this.
The moment I was petting the giraffe was the moment I passed out
I would ride that face into the sunset
So I'm trying to figure out how to talk my boss into allowing pajama day once a week. Any ideas?
What am I supposed to say? "Oh hey, I can't go out with you tonight because I can't picture myself sleeping with you and I was high and just trying to be nice when I said yes"?
Im gonna start dry humping the manequins and see if i get fired.
I know you think you’re ready to graduate but just keep these things in mind: taxes, I get up at 5 AM every morning, I have to buy vegetables when I go grocery shopping, and I can’t wear sweat pants to work. Take that victory lap and enjoy the sweat pants and bar hopping because it goes downhill real quick.
I just woke up with a pair of handcuffs in my pants, can u explain this?
I don't want to be flamboyant (says the guy who bought a hot pink suit to be a flamingo for Halloween)--but I don't mind being a little extra.
Randomize