bad idea #53- masterbating while on period.
I just farted for five sidewalk sections! New personal best.
so when we got to the frat house he had a travel sized toothpaste and toothbrush for me and gave me a pair of his shorts and a girl's sorority t shirt...something tells me he's done this before
i just recognized the girl sitting across from me from a lesbian porno... should i ask for an autograph?
The port-a-pottys are knocked over so I have nowhere to sleep.
I feel like i could break down a fucking wall with this boner
Soooo, coming over soon?
Please don't mistake my med student status for responsibility. I'm drinking tequila while studying vascular surgery techniques.
I'm tripping balls on ambien right now and I still feel that's a bad idea.
You must take up my position now. You must pass out in awkward places as I taught you... Sears a hotel elevator and Burger King bathroom. You potential for greater young grasshopper.
I just had a twenty minute discussion about endangered breed dog breeding with an Extremely drunk guy
So many questions...
I saved a note for myself but all it said was "am I a slutty Holden Caulfield?"
We were sad, then we got horny, and then we needed some ranch
I just drunkenly signed my mortgage application...
Is this how the global financial crisis happened?
I made him dinner in just his cowboy hat and my boots after we did it...you should see his face :)
I woke up this morning and my house is covered in shredded cheese with my laptop open and a google image search for "awesome shit".
Randomize
