"it" just moved
Watching Miami Social reminded me of how much I miss snorting coke with burger king straws in a life guard hut on the beach until we noticed someone was drowning.
Did you save them?
Who?
TAKE DOWN THAT PHOTO OF ME IN THE NURSES COSTUME NOW.
It was literally the size of a half eaten tic tac.
I need to keep friends like you around just in case hell grades on a curve.
It was like having sex with a donkey. Everytime she got close she would kick me.
we found her in my closet eating a clove of garlic.
this ms. usa coverage has sucessfully humbled every girl here. depressed fish in a leaky barrel. go!
So I just told the bartender I would go down on her. You need to get here
Dude I really need to stop drinking. I chugged a whole bottle of ketchup last night.
idk man, i just want to be a bad influence for future generations
This is America. Thomas Jefferson would have said I want some vagina.
I was grossed out that all their candles smelled like vagina and then I remembered where my fingers had been.
When a best friend shows up on a tricycle with a case a beer and goes "get on loser" you get on, because there is a magical adventure afoot
I will teach you the ways of the ho life, my little gay grasshopper.
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