I'm jammin out to some Brit Birt, she's still my bitch, I love her crazy ass
aaaannd alcoholism beats pride. it's like grown-up rock, paper, scissors
Day 3. Will have to postpone job hunting by a month. May have blown out my knee. Was sunburned on Friday. Now look painted red. Still alive. All worth it.
i just got cockblocked by a guy drinking wine straight out of the bottle with a straw...
I do remember getting hit in the face by an ugly one because she thought I was blowing on her butthole.
why oh why did i suck thise tits. nothing but trouble fuuuuuu
You said your face felt like it was made out out of boxes and kept asking me to give you a bath.
okay just a general question, but if i got arrested, who here would bail me out. this is important.
So I'm thinking that so long as I have this piercing, I'm going to get tested for explosives at the airport
I'm in the fetal position watching the little mermaid and trying not to die. When do you come home?
Hold your horses dude. Titty pics are a work of art.
You yelled "NICE PAJAMAS" at a construction worker wearing a reflective jumpsuit while we rode past on a bike taxi
Sitting topless in my room drinking wine from a box... It's good to be back at school
Hey can you tell Daniel there's a bottle of Captain Morgan's in the dryer ...
Sorry I think you have the wrong number
Yes it looks like I do
Well if YOU HAVE TO KNOW, we're laying across the street from the bar on that grassy hill trying to see who's she's with at the bar.
Randomize
