Who wants to bang the sort of girl you can get with Axe body spray??
wtf
I'm guessing you saw the bathroom?
I'm drinking whiskey outta the bottle trying to earn the trust of some ducks in the yard
someday when you wake up in a dumpster we'll have to have this conversation again...
This is working out surprisingly well considering it started out with us using a christmas tree as a battering ram
They said an hour before I even see a doctor...and they noticed the shots tally on my arm.
When the question of, do you know who's ass has been on the cake you are eating is said... Good or bad party?
She had pubes that could make an episode of Duck Dynasty. Fear the Vag Beard
Oh and an honorable mention for your father's porn collection. Things I'll never forget.
Sorry you felt insulted last night let me rub your butt in remorse
Dude, I work in two hours. Unless you can find Chris Hemsworth and convince him to have a three-way with us, I'm not getting out of bed.
According to my snapchat story, I tore a fake wig off a security guard and ran away with it.
I tried to flirt with him by saying "catholics are cool" and he handed me a cup of water so i called him jesus and thanked him for the wine
Who loses their virginity to fucking Flo Rida
I've pulled 4 ticks off of me. This is the last time I suck dick in the wild.
Randomize
