Well apparently he's into motor boating.
My liver just broke up with me...
Due to our sore throats we are now doing bong hits with cranberry juice to sooth it.
pre-gaming in the library. just gonna keep going until i'm too drunk to keep working and then i'll be there.
I woke up next to her boyfriend and she woke up next to mine....
This is like a fucked up game of musical chairs.
No he exists. Who else tells me no matter how drunk I am to pull out. He's watching over me so my bastard doesn't get created.
soon, soon....
I don't believe you anymore. You're like the boy who cried coitus.....
At the start of the night I was all 'come at me universe' and three hours later I was ordering an extra large pizza in bed in the dress I had gone out in. Well played universe.
is it weird that our first time having sex was makeup sex?
I miss the days where our biggest worries were who was gonna win battle shits.
Today, I lack passion for anything but Taco Tuesday.
I have a hickey in my new work ID photo.....
It's going to turn into you and me throwing down in a devastating lip-synch battle while everyone else stands around awkwardly.
Why are your pants in the freezer?
Okay, but that still doesn't explain all the glitter in my puke.
Randomize
