I'm trying this new thing, it's called standards
i hate when u poo a lot and when u wipe theres no poopy residue on the TP. it makes me feel like my butt hole is hiding something from me. just had 2tell sum1.
She was sleeping without a shirt so I thought I wouldI sneaked a peek at her nipples..than I realized they were just warts...on her back.
At what point did we agree that playing bocchi ball on the way to the liquor store was a good idea?
my mom sold the house because of the grow room the couple saw i had in the basement.
Just witnessed a circumcision at clinical. i suddenly feel a sense of reconciliation over every guy who's done me dirty...
His grandpa picked him up. Brought him to the house. And made him clean the puke off the driveway with a broom and a bucket of water.
As a heterosexual male nursing student, the odds are ever in my favor. My first semester has basically been The Horny Games. I've killed almost all of the competitors at this point.
We took her out for fresh air and next thing we knew, she was stumbling around the backyard picking dead leaves up off the ground and putting them in her shirt to "save them".
he sent me a green and gold dick pic and advised me I needed to come drive the snake from Ireland.
His favorite positions involve choking me out. I'm marrying him.
Let this be a lesson to you, parmesan cheese crumbles are not a good substitute for coffee creamer, no matter how high you are
I just noticed, at some point last night I got on iTunes and purchased over 100 classical piano songs.
Remember that time I came to London for 4 hours, got hammered, cried for an hour and then left.
I just caught my bangs on fire trying to lite a bowl while driving. Thank god it wasn't my eyebrows like last time.
Randomize
