Did you dl zombie porn on my computer?
She's trying to master eating with her feet. She said it was be she "always has to be prepared."
Ps I don't think it counts as being open minded if you didn't know he was missing a leg until you had already started making out.
Everything was yummy and fruit flavored and five alive and happymeas.
I told him if he went to see magic mike with me I'd cover his eyes during the penis parts
He just showed up with a bottle of wild turkey a half a can of coke and some marshmallows yelling "gobble gobble bitches" my roommates hate my cousin
I got frustrated so I just stood up and said take me to bed or lose me forever and banged the first guy who responded show me the way home. Thank you Top Gun.
The only math I use in every day life is figuring out how much I can spend on alcohol and still have money to pay my bills. High school lied to us.
It's Been a while since I puked in vomit bush. I hope it doesn't feel neglected
he told me he liked me . I thought we were just fuck buddies . This ruins everything!
Why does my nose taste spicy?
How do you know what your nose tastes like?
My drug dealer was just on ESPN..
I need to start journaling my drunk thoughts. Drunk me is fucking brilliant & sober me is missing out.
He tried to do a JoJo pose and wound up breaking his wrist in the process. Truly a story for the ages.
you have 30 seconds to convince me not to grab this guy's crotch in front of his girlfriend
Randomize
