I have so many mobile devices now, I only use my laptop for porn.
I think I know how big ted kennedy's penis is.
what if cement was really a rainbow color they just secretly paint it grey so as not to distract drivers
are you high?
Working on an important paper into the wee hours of the morning, and every time I type the word "situation," I can't help but think of effing Jersey Shore. Those guidos are now ruining my academic life.
I thought his dick was headless. then I pulled back the foreskin.
No.. It's totally over.. He deleted the poke I sent him.. That makes it official.
I wouldnt consider it a good Wednesday if there wasn't any projectile vomit involved
Making and watching you take a mixed shot with vodka, chocolate syrup, tobasco sauce, cranberry juice, and sundried tomato juice wasnt the highlite of my night. Hearing you puking from downstairs was.
How in the hell did I take a shot of whiskey to the eyeball last night?
This girl ordered Hershey syrup and red wine and he made it for her
I want to be your penis for a week.
I'm going through our high school yearbook trying to find what boys I want to hook up with this summer. We graduated four years ago. That's a problem.
He's the first man I've met that knows more about Harry Potter than I do. He shops at Goodwill and has a Game of Thrones cookbook in his apartment. This is my soulmate.
I have a magical vagina and I can't deny it anymore
Congrats on graduating and I'm in a cab and need someone to helps keeping me up, do you mind
Randomize
