Just found 50 pesos and a coke spoon in my dads old shit. Gotta love the 70s
I wish I still had pics from the prostitute I paid/dated
You gave the cab driver your pants as collateral while you ran in the house for money.
i figured out i could get from the downstairs bar to the upstairs bar AND grab pizza by going through the kitchen. it was the greatest discovery of my life besides the flabongo.
A man that refers to my vagina in third person is a man after my own heart.
They better not charge my debit card for what you peed on.
People are stripping in McDonalds. Do I join?
YES.
So bored. I think I've expelled every last gram of jizz from my body.
He just showed up on my porch naked with just a blanket and a trash bag
Woke up with a 22 year old with the number for a different girl written on my stomach, almost 30 can suck my dick I still got this shit
if becoming an adult is chugging a bottle of wine in your bed and crying about your stresses while your dog watches you, sign me up
I just ordered cookies for delivery. My life is falling apart.
Based on the conversation I'm going to assume you didn't close the deal.
It started going awry when I fell through a roof.
A drunk frat boy just jumped on the hood of my car while I was driving down Bridge St. He yelled at me to keep going since he was playing frogger and needed another car to jump on... or a log. I hate this town.
I'll talk to you in a minute. Gotta put my peacocks away
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