Is that you in the white hat?
Fine suit yourself
Is it possible to jerk off a nipple?
If only Ben were 51% gay instead of 49%
Fuck that. Livers are so overdramatic and attention hungry.
Guess who's still drunk but on time to court to represent a DUI?
You are my hero
do people really wait til 5 oclock to start drinking in real life?
The handjob she gave me was better than the best blowjob I've ever gotten.. Just imagine the possibilities.
Needless to say they were not happy to find out that we braided their hair together, when one of them woke up needing to puke bad
I'll be accepting presents in the forms of drinks, drugs, and orgasms. So any or all of those will be fine.
In a min. With a stripper at the hospital. Business. Not pleasure.
we did shots in class this morning as part of a presentation. WHY AM I LEAVING THIS COUNTRY?!
Casually had to file a missing persons report last night
Is it frowned upon to bring a flask to the er?
According to my Fitbit I was passed out in my car for 2 hours after she got us kicked out of the bar
Apparently swingers are magnetically drawn to me?
Randomize
