Is pulling weed out of a vagina a good thing or a bad thing?
super high. so of course there was a shoot out at the bank. there are 20 cop cars no lie. if i make it out of this i will never smoke again
I found him in the livingroom trying to soak up broken glass with the clock from the kitchen.
I just got a mental picture of us having sex in a trash can.
I'm soaked in champagne. I'm eating oatmeal from mcdonalds tonight was glorious
I shouldn't have to say "get your balls off my counter" on a Wednesday.
Dude, I need a lifestyle change. I'm to old to be making out with chicks in foam parties, letting older chicks get all excited because I let them put their hands up my shirt, and running around doing scavenger hunts with 18 yr old chicks.
Remember when I asked you to make sure I didn't go home with anything less than a 6 last night? You're fired
There just aren't enough words in the English language to convey my deep and abiding love of your cock. So I am beefing up on my Portuguese.
My wife ladies and gentlemen! Love ya babe.
Nothing like a false "my-dad-found-my-weed" alarm on Christmas day.
I left my coke in the bird nest in the bathroom stall last night but I found it nest and all in my purse I love morning suprises
Do you ever actually plan things? Or is it always drugs then whatever happens? I'm considering being worried about you
FYI you are now my emergency contact at plan parenthood
MESSY REBOUND SEX HERE I COME! Time to start stretching to fit in my back seat again ...
fell asleep while jerking off ln. woke up to my hand in my pants and my cat crawling all over me
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