dude, she has braces
i meant the dude w the ponytail.
i was less creeped out when i thought you were talking about the 14 y.o.
Through a series of unfortunate circumstances, I think I just sprayed lime juice on my vagina.
My vag should have a twitter account. It would be like "destroyed another condom today".
Counseling BFF to break up with her BF. We will get that 3-way
Where are you? This girl fell on a baby. She is just gone. Please Hurry
I'm hurrying
Dude. She just shit herself.
It was ths the worst 15 minutes of my life. . . It was like fucking a warm stick of butter.
I'm really really gonna try not to at least one night. The 4 day thanksgiving bender almost killed me last year
This vodka tastes like I'm not going to class tomorrow.
And you will no longer be getting a thank you note from my vagina
I'm not drunk because I think my blood just is alcohol from last night so being drunk is sober. If that makes sense
Just had a serious discussion with my ex-boyfriend about sexy nurse vs. sexy teacher. So score one for friendship I guess.
I thought we were but then I freaked myself out. So I kind of geared him up for take off and then cancelled the launch
Will you skip merrily into hell with me?
The usual, icing my vag with a chimichanga.
You showed up at 4 am holding a beer and wearing a wig you apparently found in the dumpster.
That explains some things...
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