so howd the 'mom i only play with condoms' conversation go?
i'm dressed up like the coppertone baby and being hit on a guy in a monk costume. the irony is not lost on me.
she's bipolar. she literally has TWO facebook pages. one for each personality. this. bitch. is. crazy.
My male hookup buddy is gonna meet my female hookup buddy, let the awkward hookup games begin!
That's like lying to my vagina. I can't betray it like that.
Housekeeping just called to see if we were okay bc they came in the room earlier and we didn't move.
There is a 15" subwoofer mounted inside our fridge. I've never been more proud of myself.
I got called a drunken housewife today in class. I'm proud, not many people can say they've achieved their life goals like I have by the time they turn 20
Oh my god. A memory of last night just came to me. One of our neighbors joked about Thomas having a big dick and I just kept shaking my head profusely.
Are you considering all the consequences of doing your boss or are you just rationalizing with your vagina?
My head is just one big fuzz right now.. Its like someone replaced my brain with a teddy bear
I apparently pulled his dick out at the bar and started yelling "DICK PICS IN REAL LIFE!"
I'm disgusted with myself. Who goes down on their Uber driver? This asshole
I think I just received the most dignified proposition of my life. From the father of the bride. Who'd have thought.
Honestly, I am sitting in my room watching Ciara videos and thinking I am super jealous of how she rides it.
Randomize
