I hate when laundry day is determined by the number of cum stains on my bed
Just wondering why in an apartment full of stoners there is half a waffle in the TRASH CAN. get ur shit together man
We discussed how the marijuana was making the dopamine float around our nucleus accumbens last night when we were high. Yet another example of how our science classes are perverting our good times.
to cover up your slurred speech you tried talking like the creepy old man from family guy
It's nice to see a girl prepared for the walk of shame. She brought headphones
You act like I'm the first person to try and hook up with a blind chick.
He's reached the drunk point where he's trying to convince the family to buy falcons as pets. Can't wait to see how my steak turns out
Would 7 layered rainbow jello shots entice you?
I think I might be harboring a Canadian in my womb.
I'm about to get my nails done. Would the polish name "meet me at the altar" be too straight forward for a first date?
I know it's anime porn but I promise you the guy looks like Fred Durst
I mean. I just want to sit in my bed and eat bagels. What's wrong with that?
You know your Halloween costume is slutty when you have to shave your pubes to wear it.
i have a strong feeling that today will be a naked day for me...i don't feel like doing shit
He stood up through the sunroof yelling "CHOCOLATE MILK BITCHESSSS!!!! YOU AIN'T WORTH SHIT NOW!!!" the sad part is he wasn't even drunk yet. I worry about him sometimes.
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