At any point in time, have you stopped and thought "I wonder how high Willie Nelson is right now?
remind me not buy ky at kmart ever again. Had to get a manager to open the locked case. then he stood there and watched me look through the selection
I hate that ur telling me this.
You were competing with my dog to see who had the stronger bark....
So i learned you can't hair-of-a-dog jaeger hangovers.
I believe its time to stop celebrating Thanksgiving. I've been drunk for over a week. If my liver doesn't give out, and I'm not pregnant I will truly have something to be thankful for.
I just saw a commercial for God of War and heard the nickname he gave my vagina.
I got a lap dance from a guy last night dressed as a school girl. Heels and all. His heels got stuck in my fish nets
i stole nothing, broke nothing, and stabbed nothing. aren't you proud of me?
Sorry I couldn't reference you in my facebook quote. I will redirect any likes and comments straight to my blowjob efforts this week.
why do all the dudes in this porno look like billy ray cyrus
Just woke up. Naked. Under an animal pelt. With a girl. I've never met her. She's pretty naked too.
He just pulled a Spanish chick using google translate!!!! We are at the bar and she speaks zero English. Hes a fucking magician!!!!!!
I'm dedicating this beer to drunk texting
He stopped in the middle of us banging in order to check in for his Southwest flight.
It's done, I'm done, goodbye veneer of class and dignity it was nice knowing you
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