How much cunt could a cunt bag punch if a cunt bag could punch cunt?
I wish all the girls i wanted to sleep with knew how big my dick was then id have a better chance
you called me at 4 am to tell me you found the cracker barrel location where we'll have lunch next week
Just got new surround sound speakers for my computer... I feel like I'm actually IN the porn now.
He cummed in my mouth, then said he had to go because his best friend broke his foot falling off of a balcony, put twenty dollars in my hand and was gone before I could even swallow...
I cant believe Lindsay Lohan feels like this every day
Just found a picture of me licking the bouncers ear last night
No... No really he actually thought the condom was meant for his hand...
juast therw a cheeeeesestirng over the fnce. stuckit to sombodys car winheild... gonna luagh if i find it mlted in the mrning.
Know of anyone who would be interested in trading weed for meatballs?
our friendships a beautiful delicate flower...that has been crushed by peni
I got really adventurous too. Like. Balls in the mouth adventurous.
Fuck it. I'm going for it. You're only young once, right?
You've been saying that for 5 years now. Let me know when the novelty wears off.
I can't really text bc it's too expensive but I thought youd like to know I just shit myself in a gift shop.
gave up morals for lent, so far it's actually been really easy.
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