You know you want to come over later
1:27a: Um no
1:45a: Maybe
2:05a: Probably
2:38a: I'm outside, let me in
He's a collector of sorts
Any cool stuff?
You should see the collection of booggers in the carpet next to his desk
I've come to notice a late period isn't as exciting when you have no reason to worry
at the hospital. he locked himself in the kitchen, said he was making beer batter shrimp. don't know if it's the mercury poisoning, alcohol poisoning or second degree burns they're holding him for, but i've got a pretty guess.
Please tell me you're throwing the cats into this foot of snow.
Does the blue bra belong to your sister or cousin?
Just picture a dyson vacuum with razor blades. That's how it felt.
just go where the car takes you. fingers crossed its here with breakfast.
I took shrooms last night.. For a good half hour I genuinely believed I was black and being held captive by a leaf. Never again.
It's like they're playing jeopardy and the category is "things that make women dry."
now that we broke up we are playing hot potato with the cock ring.. Poor thing just needs a home
well apparently i sat in the bathroom staring in the toliet at my vomit. it was blue. how was your night?
yeah true but how easily can you rip a scrotum
You told me you didn't want to go to the hospital because you were drunk, but because you didn't want to leave the "fun".
If you fucking touch my phone and text people, drunk or sober, ever again, i will shove a swizle stick up your pee hole.
Randomize
