dude, osama threatened the US again
dude. i slept with your sister last night
what?
I saw that as an opertune moment to drop some big news
I am officially superior to you. I said "Go Go Gadget Dick" before I fucked her. I dare you to beat that.
Yeah i mean there's 3 guys fighting over me. It would just be bitchy of me not to get with at least 1.
She just got back from rehab. You dont celebrate that with margaritas.
he took off his pants and apologized in advance if I thought he was too small.
i couldnt tell she was wearing a bumpit until she started giving me head
If I have to go to the hospital can we stop by the liquor store on the way?
I just saw my first passed out person, sprawled out on the sidewalk like they died. I wanted to take a pic but I thought that screamed "tourist"
Can I get a "hallelujah" for railing my pastors daughter last night?
Bring me the dick of your room mate Alex and I will reward you in in skittles.
I apparently made a "health and fitness" subcatagory called "drugs" on mint at some point. I used it to catagorize all of my nyc atm withdrawls for $60 haha
She pinched my nipples out of nowhere as I was about to come... I think I found god
That's why i need nudes. Plutonic nudes.
wait. i have to tell u something. and it has nothing to do with dildos or spiders
Just cuz u chase vodka with sweet tea doesn't make it sweet tea vodka
Randomize
