you can't get genital warts from dogs can you?
I was thinking about baking his mom "sorry you found out i was sleeping with your son" cupcakes
He was able to grab love handles during doggy style... I know we said spring break mexico diet starts next week but i think we need to start tomorrow.
They were greeting people getting off the 48 with green beers and cheers. The one day I decide not to take the bus home...
Dude if our hands were ladels we could work at a soup kitchen
That would be so convenient
Things I learned last night: 1. Bacardi 151 is a one-way ticket to the toilet, 2. It is possible for a human being to turn into Mount Vesuvius
So then I proceeded to the kitchen to make my "specialty," which consisted of a frozen veggie burger topped with peanut butter. I guess he ate it too.
Look at all the pictures I have of us sucking on jello syringes.
Also, my aunt grabbed my phone and downloaded the scriptures. Apparently I need Jesus.
I think I was just hit on by Jesus Christ. This is not okay. Bad Touch. I NEED AN ADULT!
Calm the hell down, it's just stoner Bob.
Wedding party came into the bar an hour ago. Mother of the bride is a stage five clinger. send help.
He couldn't give me an orgasm, but he did give me a UTI.
Right?? Give me some apple scented candles and I'm a fall wet dream
we had to follow your trail of clothes to find you.......
I still don’t believe you, the dog DID NOT tear down the shower curtain and shit on the floor.. we found you in the fetal position in the bathroom holding your tequila gun. It was you!
Randomize
