I accidentally had phone sex last night
definition of desperate: He gave me his SC drivers license so i wouldn't forget to facebook him.
she did the YMCA with her lgs... i think she forgot she wasnt wearing any underwear
We had to introduce ourselves in ethics class. This guy stood up said I'm mark, I love sluts and Jack. Then just sat back down. Hero status.
we should probably just go check in at the police station right now
He broke hus nose arm jousting with the traffic cones... We need to make head shots illegal or get helmets or something
I've never had someone so bad at kissing. It was like he was trying to block my airway with his tongue and he succeeded...
He fed us edamame like baby birds. Slowly all coming back to me.
Well she just asked a sorority girl if she should fuck her floor mate so it's basically like the blind leading the blind
Come over. Bring cocaine. And my t shirt with the dolphin on it.
You know that feeling when you wake up and your whole body just smells like a penis?
of all the things that should kill me, scurvy wont be one of them
We decorated the tree, drank wine, and he went down on me with Christmas music on in the background. Christmas IS coming.
Omg I should get on tinder just to get some edibles in town
i think i'm just going to start having sex with his brother, he's much hotter and it would definately be less illegal.
Randomize