I dont shave on purpose to keep myself from being slutastic!! it usually works
wooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
ooooooooooooo i'm drink
if i hurry i can finally have sex while stoned off my ass
godspeed.
You are not answering and I think it is because you spent 80 dollars worth of drinks on you hot cousin.
She just said she finds Tyler Perry funny... this is not going to work.
when i was alone, his dick was there for me...
it's official, after last weekend my girl number is higher than my guy number. fix this.
you vomited through the snorkel and onto the back of your head. it was truly amazing
She said we could only have sex if she got to keep her fake moustache on during
I fell asleep in the tanning bed, naked, for an hour and a half and I guess they couldn't wake me up so they called the fire department...and they came in while I was passed out naked...
I think when Jesus turned water into wine it was a sign that we should get drunk off Sangria tonight. Do it for Jesus. He died for your sins.
Yeah because the only thing stopping you from fucking Emma Watson is you not being a Gryffindor
I'm too pretty to go to jail. Especially in Louisiana.
I'm just hoping that with all the times he's puked in my yard a mushroom field might grow.
You left me a note that said "The Earth is blowing up. Bring the Rosé." WTF.
Randomize