what kind of vibe do I give off that a guy i've never hung out with thinks its okay to send me a picture of his ball cleavage?
What should i be more turned off about... his massive collection of condoms or that he asked me to sign my name by number 68 on the list posted on his wall?
I think the two go hand in hand.
Turns out you're obligated under man law to share any passwords you may have for porno sites
Is that what they're teaching u at that bar review class?
a woman just threw her tv out the window while screaming "will you fucking work now?". i'm never moving
it's a girl!!
That's great, I look forward to meeting her in 18 years
it was a sick party until you insisted on putting on "that's how I beat shaq"
just went to the store to buy a mop & tampons. i feel like i just gave in to all those women jokes.
That bad?
Full length cargo pants, running shoes, and a partial unibrow. Alcohol really is blinding.
You owe me $8 for the carwash I needed after you threw the salmon on my windshield.
Whoever decided to wrap my shins in duck tape owes me new leg hair.
I'd apply for another job, but "staring out windows crying" is not a hot qualification right now.
We need to make boob twerking a thing. I feel like that's why vine was invented
I would reevaluate a bf who is happy with other guys doing me.
Have you ever hotboxed under your comforter? Best. Decision. Ever.
If I could I'd magically teleport drugs and alcohol to you. Like a bad decision fairy.
Randomize
