Just accidentally pinched my dick between two 50 pound dumbbells while doing shoulder shrugs. God hates me.
Day 3. Will have to postpone job hunting by a month. May have blown out my knee. Was sunburned on Friday. Now look painted red. Still alive. All worth it.
That's because you're a slut. A slut fucking a fence.
Had a speaker in class today. She asked whats the first question when you see someone pregnant. I said whos the father? She was looking for "is it a boy or a girl?"
You basically told your boyfriend at the time you were going to shit in his hands.
And I meant every ounce of it.
she's sitting in the bathroom of SA telling people to come in for a toilet ride
No later than 4:00 ok - I'm tying my viagra high into a superbowl halftime showstopper. Ya, you might wanna look away for that
He sat on me and said I owed him $10, when I asked why he just said "lap dance"
Was banging my ex last night when his roommate walked in... We kept going. #goaheadandwatch
I tipped him really well because I feel he knew we were high, but did it in a non judgemental way.
I think I'm so comfortable in my sexual relationship because he mostly wants to see me naked with large plates of bacon tastefully placed upon my body
Masturbating with Lord of the Rings on was not how I planned my afternoon going but here I am.
I'll seduce him with my charm, after all, I am a graceful swan.
More like a demented cow.
Omg I joined a choir last night...
So how was it?
The cemetery or the sex?
Randomize
