I think he may have called me a bar rat, jokingly. I said i was but in a non-trashy way.
dont ever smoke after you drink again... i dont think ive ever seen...or heard of someone throwing up and farting at the same time. that is, if you were farting.
i walked into his room and he was eskimo kissing his weed..
I got to watch him fuck me from behind in the reflection of an ornament. so glad I decorated.
even iPhones love lady gaga. everytime I type haha it trys to correct it to gaga. this is bullshit...
he called me back to his office so he could lick a line of pixie stick off of my thigh
be sure to add "office slut" to your resume
I'm skipping the 'hey, how are you, I have to pick up something pointless at your apartment' excuse and just telling you I'm coming over to fuck.
4 to the list in one week. Slutsville isn't as fun as the brochure promised.
What do you need? A swimsuit and a liver of steel? What else?
do you know where my other puke covered boot is
I want to tell everyone I've ever met about how he him picking me up and fucking me against the wall was the highlight of my life. Worst lesbian ever.
He won't leave and I need to take a shit and vomit, quite possibly at the same time.
Really I don't care what we're doing or watching. Your penis spends way too much time outside of my body.
He's gonna fuck me, then his girlfriend is going to come over and fuck me in front of him. And they're smoking me out. Happy birthday to ME
Does anyone remember last night? Because I still don't know why I now own a goldfish and a ceiling fan made of pizza?
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